he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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