no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
