Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
