We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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