I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
