Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
All the doctor said was why
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
