her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
