no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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