we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I am one with the molecules
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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