Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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