on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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