All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
