That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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