PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
