Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
