Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
