I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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