I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i wish my penis had a tongue
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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