Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize