I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
