Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize