Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize