Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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