I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
