New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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