I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
