Banned from zoo.
Again?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
