So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize