i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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