I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
