You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
did i just pee glitter
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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