i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
People in love make me want to vomit
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
