no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
