so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
