new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
