he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
