We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize