I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
