i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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