I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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