So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
