I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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