My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
