I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
you never un-have a 4some
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize