Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm like, not good at living.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
