would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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