If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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