I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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