I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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