the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
