between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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