i don't like sucking hair
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
