I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
