it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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