my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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