I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
