Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
