in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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