his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
