I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
