Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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