You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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