all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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