I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
this hospital has no fireball
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
