I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
