Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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