Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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