I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
