What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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