This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Randomize
