Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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