You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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