so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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