i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
