Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
