Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Couch. On fire.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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