You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
