life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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