Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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