Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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