Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
