Pregnant stripper...not hot.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
