Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
