I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
